Once in a Lifetime Read online

  Alastair finally rolled off Percy, but not far. “So many times I was this close to dragging you out of that classroom by your pretty hair.” He gazed at Percy as if drinking him in.

  Percy turned towards the larger man and pressed his body against him. “I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. I thought when you gave me all those assignments that were so simple, I knew you didn't want to see me."

  "I didn't,” admitted Alastair, but then added, “Because I knew if I saw you, I wouldn't be able to control myself. If I had been alone with you for even one moment I ... I don't know what I would have done had you refused me.” His hands roamed restlessly over Percy's body.

  "Have I ever refused you?” he asked quietly. Now that the initial crisis of the evening was over, he felt happiness overwhelm him. “Are you going to push me away again?” he asked.

  Alastair shook his head. “I have learned my lesson the hard way. I cannot live without you."

  Percy gasped at the softly spoken admission. He wanted Alastair. He loved Alastair. But he had not considered the ramifications. His brain was too muddled to do so now. He wanted to be honest with him. He wanted to tell him about John. But it wasn't the right time. He only hoped the omission wasn't just his own cowardice speaking. Rather than speaking, he leaned close and pressed his lips to Alastair's again. There was no sin in enjoying happiness where one found it, after all. Why should he dwell in all the difficulties? They would sort themselves out somehow.

  Alastair kissed back, but they were both too inebriated for much more right then. They fell asleep, tangled together and on top of the covers.

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  Chapter Fifteen

  A few hours later, Percy woke, with Alastair's arms wrapped around him possessively. He drew in a deep breath as he struggled to regain consciousness. He felt warm, strong fingers curling around his cock and he smiled. He pressed his ass back against his lover more firmly, humming quietly. “I'm addicted to your touch,” he whispered.

  "Good,” Alastair said hoarsely. “Because you're mine. To do with as I please, aren't you, pretty Percy?” He stroked him slowly, rocking his own arousal against the younger man.

  Percy smiled. “Good lord, I've missed you,” he breathed. “Yes, you may do with my body whatever you please.” He closed his eyes, wriggling his ass against the hard cock he felt against it. Alastair's earlier words about being unable to live without him filled Percy's heart.

  Alastair's cock rubbed up and down the cleft of Percy's ass. He had one arm securely around the younger man. “You'll never deny me,” he growled, biting at Percy's shoulder.

  "I swear on my honor as a gentleman, I shall never deny you,” he said seriously. Percy did not mean for it to draw a distinction between them. It was simply the most profound pledge he could think to make. He took honor very seriously, as he had been taught to. Whatever eccentricities the Earls of Elgin suffered from, they would not suffer their honor to be questioned.

  Alastair grabbed the oil and slicked himself, then nudged at Percy's entrance with his rock hard cock. “Ask for it,” he whispered. “Tell me how much you need me inside you."

  Percy wondered if Alastair truly needed reassurance, or if he just enjoyed hearing him beg. “Please, Alastair. I need your cock deep inside me,” he moaned quietly. “Need to be fucked. Want you so badly. Do you feel how hard I am for you? Fill me. I'm so empty without you."

  Alastair moaned out loud and thrust in hard. “Now you're filled, you're mine,” he promised, pulling out and driving back in.

  Percy bore down and pressed back, meeting Alastair's thrust. It had been such a short time since they had done this, his body accepted Alastair's cock relatively easily. “All yours. Only yours. Forever,” he murmured. He slid his leg back and up over Alastair's thigh, spreading himself open more for his lover.

  At Percy's words, Alastair sped up, moving deeper and groaning more loudly. He pinched at Percy's nipples with his free hand, then moved it down to cup his balls.

  Percy felt completely under Alastair's control. He was on edge far too quickly. He arched his back, leaning forward. “Ohh,” he gasped. “I ... so c-close, Alastair..."

  Alastair thrust harder. “Will you never learn control, boy?” he purred. He began to stroke Percy's cock, though, and added, “Come."

  Percy moaned and started to pulse, hips jerking forwards and back involuntarily. “I can't help myself with you,” he croaked.

  "Good,” was Alastair's growled response, just before he emptied himself inside Percy.

  Percy straightened his body slightly, breathing deeply. Alastair was still inside him, and he didn't move away. He smiled softly and stretched his arms out before him. “Mmm. When the sun comes up, I believe a nice hot bath will be in order."

  Alastair held Percy tightly against him. “We can sleep like this here, together?” he asked wonderingly.

  Percy glanced over his shoulder. “There are only three servants in residence, and they are quite discreet. Or so I've been told. I'm not sure what they've needed to be discreet about.” He thought about that for a moment. He'd always heard that the London servants were discreet, but it never seemed odd until just now.

  "Mmm, so you don't often bring older gentlemen here for nocturnal visits?"

  Percy laughed. “I've never brought anyone here. I've only ever been here with my parents before this.” He had invited John for part of the summer, but now he suspected he would have to retract that invitation. He hoped John would understand.

  "Good,” Alastair replied, still touching Percy lazily.

  Percy smiled. “We have all weekend. Three days.” He leaned back, pressing his shoulders against Alastair's chest. “We never have to leave the bed if you don't want to,” he added with a smirk.

  "Sounds perfect,” Alastair moaned. “What a decadent life you lead."

  Percy laughed lightly. “I don't normally lie around in bed for three days, you know.” He wasn't sure why he felt the need to defend himself. He didn't feel particularly decadent, although he knew the house was nice and his family had quite a lot of money.

  Alastair tightened his grip on Percy. “Perhaps I shall let you up at intervals, for food and such. You'll need your strength.” He smirked.

  Percy rolled his eyes. “Mmm, good of you,” he purred. He ran his hand up one of Alastair's arms. “I might get to stay here by myself all summer,” he said. “Perhaps you'll visit me.” He would be happy to have Alastair stay with him all summer. In fact, the idea was delicious.

  Alastair raised an eyebrow. “Now that would be quite interesting,” he acknowledged. “However would you spend your time?"

  Percy smiled. “Oh, you know, the usual distractions. The park, the theater, entertaining special guests.” He looked over his shoulder and winked at Alastair.

  "I do like the sound of that last,” Alastair murmured. “But perhaps we should discuss it in the morning. When I am able to pursue such entertainment once again."

  "Mm, yes, all right. As my guest, I am duty bound to obey your wishes,” he purred. He was already quite drowsy.

  "You'll obey my wishes, all right,” said Alastair sleepily. “Now close that smart mouth for once."

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  Chapter Sixteen

  When Percy awoke next the sun was shining in his bedroom window and he was wrapped around Alastair's body. He smiled sheepishly and disentangled himself. They bathed together in the large tub in the dressing room and Percy called for a meal to be brought to the room.

  The day passed in blissful abandon. They made love. Percy showed Alastair around the house. They lingered in the back parlor with fine brandy and a game of billiards, and returned to Percy's room to make love again. It was all like some sort of fantasy of how he might like to live his life.

  Alastair asked few questions, and seemed content to pass the time just as Percy liked. They moved in perfect accord, between a few delicious meals and some temporary amusements, to retreating to th
e private haven of Percy's bed.

  When Monday morning dawned bright and clear, Percy felt saddened that their holiday was nearly over. He rolled over to face Alastair, his long hair disheveled and his eyes heavy-lidded. “I suppose we must return to school this evening,” he said glumly.

  "Mmyes, pity,” murmured Alastair, rubbing his thumb over Percy's swollen lips. “Going back to the real world will be a nasty shock."

  Percy smirked. “Well, this is the real world as well, you know. This house will be mine some day. There's no reason...” He let the thought trail off, watching Alastair's face for any sign of reaction.

  Alastair's eyes grew shuttered. “Don't,” he said softly. “This may be your real world, but it is not mine."

  Percy was silent for a moment as he let Alastair's words sink in. “But, once school is over, it's not so very far a journey. You could still teach if you wish to do so. This place would be ideal.” He couldn't get his thoughts around the idea that Alastair was seeing an ending.

  Alastair frowned. “What exactly are you saying, Percy?"

  Percy looked uncertainly into Alastair's eyes. “That once I'm out of school we could perhaps live here. Together. You could have your own room if you prefer. There are plenty of them.” He saw no impediment to such an arrangement.

  Alastair blinked at him. “Do you really think an Earl would be permitted such an arrangement? Long term?"

  "And who is to question it? The King? I'm sure I'm quite beneath his notice, Alastair. My father has never been active in politics. Who do you suppose will object to it?” he asked earnestly.

  Alastair sighed. “Let us not dwell on the future. It will be here of its own accord. I do not wish to waste what little time we have left.” He took Percy's hand and placed it on his arousal.

  Percy hid his face in the crook of Alastair's neck. He started to stroke him gently as he was troubled by thoughts that perhaps Alastair wanted only this and did not yearn for a time when they could be as partners—knowing every detail of each others’ habits, keeping each others’ company outside of the bedroom.

  Alastair moaned, thrusting lazily into Percy's hand, encouraging him softly.

  Percy swallowed hard, pouting, his face still hidden. He was in love with this proud, fierce man, and all he was to him was an attractive body he didn't feel like he could do without. An addiction, like opium. Not a love. He stroked him slowly, not speaking, feeling more discouraged than he had all weekend.

  Alastair put his hand over Percy's, stopping him. “Now you are quiet, so I know something is wrong,” he said.

  "M'fine,” he whispered, trying to stroke Alastair's cock again. He closed his eyes, to hide the uncertainty inside him.

  Alastair shook his head. “'Tis quite unlike you to not speak your mind,” he admonished. “Now, tell me what has upset you. Please."

  Percy turned his face up to look into Alastair's eyes. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “Is this all you want of me? Just to fuck whenever you feel like it?” he asked quietly. He hoped such a question wouldn't anger him, but he wanted to know.

  Alastair's expression softened. “If I just wanted pleasure I could get that easily,” he said after a moment. “Do you truly think that is all I want? Would I have spent the whole weekend with you if that were true?” He ran his finger along Percy's fine jaw line.

  "Why not? It was a pleasant diversion.” He sighed. “I'm sorry. I just...” He lowered his eyes. “I feel like I'm falling in love with you,” he whispered.

  Alastair's eyes went wide and he was silent for long moments. “You don't really mean that,” he whispered, stunned.

  Percy frowned. “I do! Do you think you're a simple person to have feelings for? You scowl at me and push me away. You hardly ever say all the sweet things I want to hear, or touch me in a gentle way. No one has ever unsettled me as you do. No one has ever made me crave the smallest scrap of kindness, or feel like I'd just become the luckiest man in the world when I received it."

  Alastair stared back at Percy. “You're very young. Maybe you think you're in love..."

  Percy signed. “I suppose being young makes me incapable of significant feeling, so there's no point in discussing it.” He looked down again and curled his fingers around Alastair's cock. He'd never allowed someone to dismiss him so casually.

  "I didn't say that.” Once again, Alastair removed Percy's fingers from him. “I am not just here for sex,” he said carefully. “But more than that, what can we hope for, together? You will have to marry and produce an heir, you know that."

  Percy frowned. “So because it would be difficult we shouldn't try? Should I give up all attempts at happiness? Should I find some wealthy old cow to pop out a brat and closet myself away in a study, or travel off to the continent to have illicit affairs to slake my dirty lust? Should I give up the idea of being in love, Alastair?"

  "How do you think it would work, then?” Alastair said, not unkindly. “I am correct, am I not? You have no brothers to continue the Elgin line?” He didn't let Percy move away, just held him closely.

  "I don't know, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try to find a way,” he said. “No, I have no brothers. Nor cousins. Yes, it all rests on my shoulders. Yes, I will have to have an heir. I know all of this. But I also know I'm not ready to give up, either."

  "Your courage is admirable,” Alastair said, brushing Percy's hair out of his face. “But the road you choose will not be easy. You will find most turn a blind eye because of your title, but not all will be pleased."

  Percy was more concerned about whether or not Alastair was willing to be with him, but he thought maybe that was a discussion for another day. “You'll see. Once I'm out of school, I will find a way to make it work,” he said quietly.

  "I hope you do,” Alastair answered, smiling. “You are a determined young man. I want...” He stopped himself. “I want you to be happy."

  Percy gazed into Alastair's eyes. “Have you not done what you could to find happiness in life? Is it not the very least we can do?” he asked quietly.

  "Am I not here, with you? Risking my career?” Alastair replied. “Do you think I would do that for just sex?"

  Finally Percy smiled. “Thank you for being here,” he said quietly. “It's been lovely. I can't remember ever being happier.” He kissed Alastair lightly on the lips. “And I'm glad you want more. I want to give you more."

  "I want to make you happy,” Alastair said, gazing into Percy's eyes intently.

  Percy pushed Alastair back and climbed on top of him. They kissed and rolled around, and made love for as long as they dared before heading back to school.

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  Chapter Seventeen

  When he was back at school, Percy knew he had to speak to John as soon as possible. Right after dinner, he went to John's room and knocked lightly at the door.

  "Come in,” the voice came through the door.

  Percy slipped in the door and closed it behind him. He took a seat on the bed, watching John working hard at his small desk over some schoolwork. “Hello,” he said quietly.

  John grinned over his shoulder. “Perce. You look uncharacteristically sedate.” He turned his chair to face him.

  Percy smiled at the nickname he'd grown to adore so much. “I have to speak to you. I had an extremely interesting weekend."

  John raised his eyebrows. “Did you indeed? Do tell.” He came to sit on the bed next to Percy.

  "I went to a pub and he was there,” he said carefully. “He was drunk, and we fought, but then he admitted that he couldn't live without me.” He looked into John's eyes, willing him to understand.

  "He?” John looked confused for a moment. Then his expression changed. “Oh, I see.” He looked at Percy. “You're really in love with him. I can see it in your eyes."

  Percy nodded, his expression sad. “I am. Oh, John. I've enjoyed being with you so much. You're my dearest friend. But I am in love with him. I thought he never wanted to see me ag
ain."

  Frowning, John nodded. “Does he admit he feels the same?"

  That made Percy squirm. “Well, not in so many words, no. Although, he's not a demonstrative person. He's not very good at saying things like that, but he said more than he ever has.” He bit his lip.

  John seemed to focus on Percy's uneasiness. “But he didn't admit it. How do you know, then? Do you think you'll ever have that with him?"

  "I have no idea. I hope so, but he's very cynical. I get the feeling that he doesn't believe in me, but he wants to. I suppose life must have been cruel to him.” He realized that it didn't sound very hopeful, but it was the best he had at the moment. It was certainly more hopeful than when Alastair refused to look at him.

  "You don't know?” John asked incredulously. “Did you tell him of your feelings?"

  Percy frowned. “Yes. I told him that I love him. He said that he wants to make me happy and that he cannot live without me. You cannot appreciate how much such admissions cost a man like that,” he said earnestly.

  John shook his head. “Yet he cannot say he returns your love? Please be careful, Percy. Do not give your heart to someone who cannot be truly yours.” He put his hand on Percy's shoulder. “You deserve better."

  "You cannot choose who wins your heart, John. He's a good man. I believe that.” He wanted his friend to support his choice. He wanted to know that John didn't feel rejected, too.

  John sighed. “I suppose this means that you and I cannot...” He trailed off, blushing and looking sad at the same time.

  Percy looked pained. “Things are different now. I feel like we've made an unspoken commitment to each other. I'm sorry. I do adore you.” He leaned close and kissed John on the cheek. “Are you upset with me?"

  "Who could ever be upset with you, Perce?” John smiled. “I'll miss what we did. But I understand. As long as we can still be mates."

  Percy smiled warmly at him, then threw his arms around John's neck. “Thank you. I was so worried about telling you.” He felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. It would be far easier to be completely truthful with Alastair now that he could say that he'd officially stopped messing about with anyone else.